My . . . how times have changed!
I got my first cell phone in 1999. My church provided it for me, and I had 30 minutes per month. No texting, no apps, just a phone. My iPhone now has more processing power and more memory than the computer I used in seminary. I have 100+ apps -- 20+ that I use almost every day -- and if I bought the Bluetooth keyboard, I may not even need a computer anymore.
My . . . how times have changed!
Don't misunderstand me -- I enjoy technology. I struggle when new gadgets come out, because I want them. Now. And when I see teenagers sporting better equipment than what I have, I'm tempted to confiscate it under the guise of "it's being a distraction" and forget to give it back.
But what is technology doing to our culture?
Back in the day, I read a great journalism book called Amusing Ourselves to Death, by Neil Postman. It's a little dated, but Postman argued that television was hurting our capacity to think deeply and have significant conversations about meaningful topics.
I believe the same thing is happening in our culture today, because of our addiction to social media.
Again, please don't misunderstand me -- I enjoy technology! But I see the struggle in my own life, and I've read a little research discussing it. (If you're a nerd like me, check out this article from the University of Chicago, this one from the Huffington Post, and this one discussing the potential for social media addiction to become a diagnosable medical disorder.)
OK, but what do we as parents do about it? You can find a ton of opinions about approaches parents should take with regards to their adolescents' social media usage. Read them all, and weigh them against the truths of scripture. My favorite culture expert is Walt Mueller and the Center for Parent Youth Understanding. His newest project, the Digital Kids Initiative, is providing some solid resources for parents looking for help. (I especially like their handouts and family covenants.)
Here are a few thoughts on what we parents can do to strengthen our influence on our students' social media usage:
1. Have lots of conversations with your students. What students are doing online is important to discover. But it's equally important to learn the "why" behind the "what." Our goal is long-term healthy relationships with our students, so let's spend time listening to what they're saying -- by their words and by their actions.
2. Set a good example. If we're encouraging our students to limit the amount of social media usage they engage in, it's probably helpful for us to lead the way. In some areas, "do what I say not what I do" is appropriate, but in this case, moderation is the right thing to do. Even for adults.
3. Resist pressure and set healthy rules. On some level, I believe every parent walks a tightrope between being a friend to our student and being an adult. In this case, our teenagers need us to be an adult who sets healthy boundaries. Even if it's not popular.
4. Monitor your student's technology usage. While I favor the approach of the mom in this story, I recognize others disagree. From my perspective, accountability is good in everyone's life, regardless of age. I'm a big boy, and I open my life up to two close friends on a weekly basis. Because I need help to live into the values I profess.
5. Show an interest in the things your students are interested in. By the end of a day, I'm on stimulus overload, and all I want to do is sit somewhere and relax. At the same time, my kids are excited that I'm home, and they want to tell me the details of their day, on a minute-by-minute basis. My short-term-strategy is to send them away so I can rest. But my long-term strategy is to build a deep connection with my kids, so I listen to their stories, play their games, and watch their TV shows with them. I want to be connected to my kids in the good times, because it's that connection that will help me walk them through the more challenging times ahead.
What do you think?
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