the souls of our daughters

OK, I'll admit, the title is a little melodramatic. But I'm not sorry. As the dad of three daughters (and the husband of a wife), I am awfully aware of the awful struggle every woman in our culture faces regarding their bodies and sexuality.

*** I am not dismissive of the pressure men face in the same areas, but researchers (here here here and here) have shown a much stronger statistical decline in self-esteem in adolescent young women than young men; the decline lasts longer; and for some young women self-esteem never recovers.***

Thankfully, the over-sexualization and objectification of women is not a topic that's kept in the margins, but the conversation is gaining mainstream momentum as more and more media outlets are sharing stories and examples and statistics on the dangerous road we're on as a society.


I was particularly challenged by Caroline Heldman's TedTalk on the sexualization of women. Heldman feels today's culture is so overly sexualized, we can hardly recognize it -- that sexual objectification is so engrained in our culture that many adolescents struggle to see it. She said, "It's like being raised in a red room, being pulled out of that room, and asked to describe the color red."

To help us re-learn some critical thinking/viewing skills, Heldman shared seven questions one could ask to help determine if an image or video is sexually objectifying someone.

1. Does the image/video show only parts of a sexualized person's body?
2. Does the image/video present a sexualized person as a stand-in for an object?
3. Does the image/video show a sexualized person as interchangeable?
4. Does the image/video affirm the idea of violating the bodily integrity of a sexualized person that can't consent?
5. Does the image/video suggest that sexual availability is the defining characteristic of the person?
6. Does the image/video show a sexualized person as a commodity?
7. Does the image/video treat a sexualized person's body as a canvas?

I was challenged as I read through the list, reflecting on my own viewing habits and the ease at which I allow myself to be numbed. You can watch her talk here.


A few others worth mentioning:

• The company that makes Dove soap has done an amazing job shining light on this topic. While it might be for strategic/marketing purposes, their self-esteem campaign is worth supporting.
• Watch Jean Kilbourne's five minute presentation of how popular media (particularly advertising)
  distorts and shapes society's view of women.
• Cameron Russel shared a powerful TedTalk on the sexualization of adolescents from her own story as a Victoria's secret model.
• Kate Winslet is one of the most outspoken celebrity advocates for change. You can find lots of her comments about body image on the web; here's a great article that summarizes some of her thoughts. 

As a dad, husband, and Christ-follower, what do I do with all this? How do I help the women in my family -- and all women in my life --  process the pervasive message of our culture in light of the truth of the Kingdom of God? How do my own choices shape their views and understandings of themselves as women and children of God? How do we disciple our daughters to live a different (Kingdom) story in the midst of a dominant (cultural) story in a way that is compassionate and hope-filled? And how do I help them resist the urge to isolate and withdraw from culture, and instead overcome evil with good?

It's things like this that make me homesick for the Kingdom . . .


What do you think?